Emergency Money Talks

A Couple’s Guide for Managing Financial Stress While Building and Strengthening Relationship Skills for Financial Success: Emergencies require exceptional skills in coping with financial and emotional conditions deemed out of individual control. Developing healthy coping skills is paramount to managing emergency conditions that could otherwise create havoc for families. 1. Organize regular “money meetings” to discuss your financial situation, issues and goals. Use this time to brainstorm creative solutions to problems and generate ideas to improve your future. 2. Time your financial discussions carefully. During the morning rush, late at night or after a bitter argument are not good times to discuss financial topics. A lazy Sunday afternoon, a quiet weekday evening, or a leisurely walk are better choices. 3. Set realistic goals for the discussion. You cannot change the past, or miraculously change the conditions that created the situation but you can change the way that you react and manage your current situation. Be clear about what you want to achieve. 4. Work with your partner’s personality, instead of against it. One of you makes financial decisions instantly, while the other one deliberates for days. One of you hates paperwork, while the other has anxiety if every blank is not filled out completely and perfectly. Focus on a positive outcome, not the method of traveling. 5. Avoid blaming your partner. Think about differences in money management as differences in perspective instead of moral failures. In most cases, the person you love is sane, reasonable, and healthy. Treat your partner with the respect deserved. 6. Cultivate a healthy respect for reason. Don’t become so emotionally attached to your position that you ignore reality. Seek the solution that best fits the situation, whether or not it fits your preconceived notion of how the problem could be solved. 7. Expand the pie. Creative solutions can ensure that both of you “win.” Instead of clinging to your position, try to find a way to satisfy your partner and yourself in how you approach your finances so that you achieve your individual and joint

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